SKATE OR DIE

Between the ages of about 8 and 12, Guilty Pleasures spent an inordinate amount of time going as fast as a tween’s legs could possibly go around and around in circles at the local roller skating rink.

Birthday parties, elementary school trips, all-night skate (7 p.m.-7 a.m., only did it once), Guilty Pleasures loved roller skating, but for the most part, forgot it was even still around until a friend’s birthday at Skateland a couple months ago.

Sure, Guilty Pleasures was reluctant to go at first. Would roller skating be like riding a bicycle?

Or would it be a complete disaster?

After a more than 15-year hiatus, can you lace up some skates — most likely, equally as old — and pick up where you left off?

Not entirely.

But it wasn’t as bad as imagined either. And now Guilty Pleasures is part of a crew (ranging in age from mid-20s to post-30s) that heads to the rink most every Wednesday evening to get a skating fix for a mere $5.25.

Just like the bruises, all the things that you loved as a kid come back in an instant: the feel of the wind on your face as you go faster and faster, the sound of skates on slicked-up wooden floors, the wonderfully cheesy music, that instant rush of relief each time you catch yourself from falling.

Skateland is a throwback to all of that. It probably hasn’t changed much in the past 15 years (although one has to wonder when the glow sticks and blinky lights were added to the gift counter). It’s got the linoleum snack area, the worn-thin carpet, those weird, round benches, the smell of sweat mixed with pre-teen angst, the disco ball, the Hokey-Pokey (and now the Macarena). There’s thunder skate and speed skate and games to win a free hot dog or the notorious Pickle Fizz.

It brings you back to being 12 years old — which also includes prepubescent anxieties and insecurities like when it’s time for couples’ skate. Sweaty palms don’t go away with age.

Yeah, there really are times when you rediscover something so innocently good and fun, you can’t believe you ever forgot it existed.

Of course, now, this innocent activity is followed by something else Guilty Pleasures finds to be fun and good — a post-skating cold one at a local bar.

• Skateland Fun Center is at 2506 Old Town Road in Union Gap. For times, cost and the dress code — which is much more strict than Guilty Pleasures’ trashy childhood rink — call 575-6442.

• Guilty Pleasures is a weekly look at whatever Guilty Pleasures wants to look at.